My carrel on the eighth floor of lower Manhattan has a lot
of graffiti devoted to Alan. Alan has the best weed.
Alan is a woman. The walrus is Alan. Do we still need Alan?
Alan I want to have your baby. Alan taped my nana.
Fuck Obama Alan for president.

Alan is Geraldo Rivera. The victory is Alan’s.
I hate being Alan. Alan is a dream most likely.
Who the heck is Alan?  Alan is homosexy.
Alan is a social construct. I love Alan.
It all comes down to Alan. I am Alan.

Alan is over. we are all Alan. Remember when
there was no Alan? If I am so beautiful and if you love me so
much then spell my fucking name correctly –
ALLEN. No, it’s Allan. No, it’s Alain.
Alain, Alain, t’es beau et je t’aime.