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Nikad u Nizozemskoj

zatim je stao i pogledao me u oči,
znajući da se u te oči sada zagledao zadnji put.
kakav osjećaj praznine!
kakva groteska!
gledaš i znaš da nećeš nikad više.
zatim su ispucale usne na krajevima.
zatim je sjaj u očima utonuo u neodređeno.
zatim su se ruke nemoćno objesile o ramena ...
posljednji galop na stranputici.
posljednji odsjaj mjeseca u zastakljenu oku.
ono se zatim ugasilo, obustavilo slanje poruka
satelitskim vezama prema kraju života i ravnodušnosti.
oh, kakva sprdnja s ljepotom i banalnošću!
s visinama i nizinama!
nizinama paragvaja.
nizinama finske.
nizinama kirgistana.
nizinama tajske.
nizinama wisconsina.
nizinama nizozemske,
oh, kakva geografija asimetrije i celofana!
kakav zaguljeni vodopad rituala i peronospore!
curi gnoj i jakobinsko blagostanje,
ranojutarnje pripetavanje s konja na magarca:
u sridu!
u ništa!
samo vodopadni tutanj pred umornim očima:
odakle smrt se primakla?
tako sastavlja popis nasilja i megalomanije?
kako ugasiti tv?


2002-11-27
2003-04-20

Never in the Netherlands
then he stopped and stared at me, 
knowing he was never to see my eyes again.
what a feeling of emptiness!
what a grotesque!
you look and know you will not ever again.
then the corners of the lips got chapped.
then the eyes’ glint sank into the indefinite.
then the shoulders slumped helplessly ...
the last gallop sidetracked.
the last moon reflection in the glazed eye.
it went out, stopped sending messages
over the satellite to the life’s end and indifference.
oh, what a mockery of beauty and banality!
of heights and plains!
the plains of paraguay.
the plains of finland.
the plains of kirghizia.
the plains of thailand.
the plains of wisconsin.
the plains of the netherlands.
oh, what a geography of asymmetry and cellophane!
what a screwed-up waterfall of rituals and downy mildew!
pus and jacobean well-being runs down
and the early morning alka-game of horse-to-assmanship:
in the center!
in the zero!
only the cascading boom in front of you:
whence has death crept closer?
who composes a list of violence and megalomania?
how can you turn off the tv?


11/27/02
04/20/03