The Musculoskeletal Condition
Every time I step outside I bang my soul on an osteopath.
When the phone rings it’s usually an osteopath, calling to tell me about the new bones.
Osteopaths! I am tired of prostrating myself on your rolled-out strips of paper.
Sure, the musculoskeletal condition is just as important as the downturn!
It could be a contributing factor.
Yes, I will vote for you, osteopath.
I will praise your children.
I will consider holidaying in the Dordogne region.
Osteopaths, stop rummaging in my pockets I have nothing left.
Osteopaths, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.
It’s just . . . the balance of power does not favour the achy.
(I can hear the coathangers jangling.)
Osteopaths, why are none of you in the government?
Osteopaths, how did you all meet and what do you talk about (besides the musculoskeletal  
              condition) at the osteopaths’ barbecues?
What would you do if everybody got better and you could no longer afford these premises?
Osteopaths, thank you for answering my questions.
Thank you for your sterile gel.
Thank you for your kind interest in my poetry.